Dating Stories: The Cake Lady

I was walking along and this woman stopped me and said, “Hey, how have you been?”

I said, “Good.”

She said, “Did you hear Kevin got that new job.”

I said, “I didn’t know he was looking.”

She said, “Yeah, he’s been keeping his eye out. How’s Megan?”

Now, I’m not good with names or faces, or people in general, but I was pretty sure I didn’t know a Megan, and this put more doubt into my mind as to whether I knew this woman talking to me or not.

I said, “She good,” and to test the idea, I added, “We’re really good thanks.”

The woman said, “Oh great, sorry I haven’t seen you since the wedding.”

Now, I’m not good with people, but I was pretty sure I wasn’t married – so this ruled out the me knowing Megan idea, or at least in that way, or at least, I wasn’t wearing any rings. So I took a gamble, and said, “That’s okay, I’m sure you and Kev (I called him Kev) have been really busy.”

She said, “Sure have! But we should catch up soon.”

I said, “What about this weekend?”

She said, “We’re still unpacking.”

I said, “Come around to our place,” because I assume I live with Megan. “Just lob on over sometime. We’re home all weekend.”

She said, “Oh cool, we could use a break sometime. What should I bring?”

I said, “Bring a cake. It’ll be a surprise. I wont even tell Megan. Don’t tell her you’re coming. Just come over one afternoon.”

She said, “Great idea. I’ll bake up something and I’ll see you on Saturday.”

I said, “Great.”

Mum said she wanted to know where the cake was.

I said, “There’s no cake.”

Mum said, “I want cake.”

I said, “Mum, I don’t know these people. There’s no cake. Here, there’s no cake here. Have a look around. No cake. No cake here. I could get you cake. I could get cake and shove it down your throat until you’re full, and then pump it out of your stomach, but that would defeat the purpose of having shoved cake down your throat in the first place.”

Mum said, “I have seen Chopper. I do know what you’re talking about, and you still owe me cake.”

So I made her a cake, and she ate the whole thing. I didn’t get any. But then Kevin, Megan, the guy that looks like me (poor bloke) and some woman I don’t know, they all had surprise cake on the weekend. So that’s good. Assuming Megan and her partner were home. Otherwise it was just Kev and his friend, sharing a cake. That’s a happy ending too. That’s good for them.


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