I was at Lido Comedy last night. Luka Muller was on stage and asked, “Has anyone worked in a bottleshop?”
I called out, “Yes.” as it was a quiet-ish crowd and as I had worked in a bottleshop I thought I’d give some support.
He asked me, “Where?”
I said, “Oh, Winehouse,” not really wanting to get into the topic. (Though I am doing a talk there during the comedy festival. Tickets: https://winehouse.com.au/the-wine-science-show).
Luka was a little off put by my answer, and asked, “Where’s that!?”
I told him and he said, “Oh, I thought you said ‘Lion House’!”
“I wish I did,” said I, by which I meant, wouldn’t that be cool. Imagine selling lions for a living. Sure, you’d have to deal the morality of keeping caged animals, but once you resolved that with a cash income, imagine going up to someone and saying, “Hey, ya need a mane in your life? Right? A good mane is hard to find, and I’ve got the best manes you could find. You wont find a better mane. I’ve got them from Africa, I’ve got them from, Africa, mostly Africa, they’re all from Africa let’s face it. I’ve got some with spots. Special deal on those. They aren’t strictly lions, but they are a good buy. Going cheap. What do ya say? What a mane, what a mane, what a mighty good mane! That’s our motto.”
But no. Luka was thrown off. He stopped talking and looked at a piano. He sighed, and then continued with his routine. The MC said it was the angriest she had ever seen him.
Sorry, it wasn’t meant as a heckle on the topic of conversation. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. In fact, I have a speech impediment. It’s true. Reading this you might not be able to tell, but once, at the impressionable age of 16, two doctors stood in front of me, looking at my face, and said “I’m surprised we can understand him at all.” It’s the kind of thing you don’t like to hear on your day off from regular bullying at school, but them’s the facts. By the way, I host a podcast, so if you want to hear me struggle through words and irritate your inner ear listen to the Bendigo Comedy podcast here: Bendigo Comedy podcast 9
All the best for now, and sorry Luka, I meant nothing personal buy it.
Luke Morris (or “Yuke Norrish” as I sometimes seem to introduce myself).