“Wowsers! I never knew so many women find me attractive,” said Garth Brookes, 38, from Quarry Hill.
Having used online dating application Tinder fo a week, Mr Brooks is surprised at his success.
“I’ve been matched with so many women that I can’t choose,” he reported.
Ar first he thought it was a mistake, when the 26 year-old Emma wrote to him, “omggg i’m so boredddd.”
“Potentially she dropped her phone and then palm-texted me when picking it up,” he philosophised.
But Emma was not the only 26 year-old who lived 3 kilometers away to message him.
“Then I got Shalonda and Lana and Marion. That was boom, boom, boom!”
He quite logically reasoned that their poor spelling could be attributed tot heir age.
“People use text speak nowadays like all the time they don’t even notice lax grandma.”
So words spelt “biig” and “hallar” and “wut” were no surprise.
“Spelling is Not n issue when it comes to luv.”
Some people still have standards.
“For shiz I was trying to find someone in my age bracket, but if it takes the 26 year-old, 3 kilometer away, three photos, no bio, semi-illiterate market to apprecite my online presence, then that’s what I’ll accept.”
The real issue is who to choose.
“I’m jst glad none of my mtches have more than one person in their photograph. i’m just not ready for orgy sex with a conjoined twin. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”
We at the Bendigo Standard wish Mr Brokes all the best with his roamcnes.