Eddie McGuire Upset as Stand-up Material is Poorly Received

Eddie McGuire, 51, should know better, recently tested material from this upcoming stand-up show, I’m not a Caroline Wilson hater but.., while hosting one of his programs.

“I’ve been in the public eye for a long time,” said McGuire. “Though behind it has always been my love of stand-up.”

Famous for sort-of apologising for alleged racism following the Adam Goodes saga, and alleged sexism during the Jessica Rowe saga, McGuire is keen to add another string to his bow.

“I’ve always looked up to those edgy murder comics. Ted Bundy is an icon in this field. He really killed.”

The test joke gathered some initial support from his immediate vicinity, but was more widely criticised as not being funny.

“It has taken years to form this material,” said McGuire. “The original joke started with hoping Caroline Wilson would get raped and die of cancer, but the pink ribbon brigade would have complained. Then I thought about stabbing her in the neck, but the set up was all wrong, and I wanted her to get AIDS, but obviously the homosexual community would have taken issue that I was demonising an issue they are closely related to.”

McGuire settled on wishing Wilson to be drowned, considering Laurie Lawrence is old and as a spokesperson for safer pools could be easily talked over.

“On its own the joke doesn’t have context, you need to see the whole show to get it, but since we were at an event with a pool I thought I’d throw it out there and see how the material went.”

On paper the gag goes like this; when proposing money be taken for people to be dunked into water for charity, McGuire says of placing Wilson in the water: I’ll put in 10 grand straight away, make it 20. And if she stays under, 50. What do you reckon guys? (wait for applause before adding) Everyone to stand around the outside and bomb her. (sic)

“I was happy with the delivery. I’m just not sure where the failure to connect with the wider audience was. Which is why I issued the statement blaming the wider audience.”

Undeterred McGuire plans to continue his foray into comedy, with the one man show previewing before final dates are set for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival next year.

“The show is basically me on stage for an hour saying that I don’t hate Caroline Wilson, and then mocking her journalism, insulting her integrity, ridiculing her general demeanour, and ending with an outline of how she should die. Most of the material goes back a decade or more. That’s the context you need. It’s much funnier that way. You might have seen some of the stuff on other programs I’ve done. It’s really hot material.”

Tickets are on sale soon.

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