Katie Holmes, 34, recounts her experience between sobs.
“I was surfing the web, and then, and then, it said Brad and Angelina were in trouble, and so I clicked on it, and it, and it, it was total bollocks.”
The article was not about the star couple’s marriage but was a dull outline of missed travel plans.
“Then, and then,” she continued, “I reckoned that, Oh well, this other article about the Top 10 Fat Busting Secrets the doctors didn’t want me to know should be honest.”
But that was a rubbishy side show of images about diet and exercise.
In vain Katie continued, clicking on headlines offering to reveal secrets, scandals, hidden offers, and amazing things that have to be seen to believed.
“None of it, none of it was actually that interesting or relevant. Maybe I have the aspergers.”
Acting Chef Super Intendant George Clooney says this not an isolated incidence.
“Click Bait is on the rise, with articles deceiving people into reading things that aren’t news, and deadening them from the inside out.”
“The struggle,” he states, “Is that words like amazing and unbelievable have literally lost their meaning.”
For Katie though, a more personal struggle has begun.
“Doctors say I may never trust media reporting again, and I’ve stopped caring about what happens to Kim and Kanye or anything.”