Bendigo’s Easter Festival Makes the Bendigo Hanukkah Carnival Look Crap

Chocolate eggs, table tennis, giant bunnies, Blues & Roots music, paella and a very long Chinese dragon, the Bendigo Easter Festival is the envy of the local Jewish community.

But not for long.

“This year’s Hanukkah will be an extravaganza,” stated local Jewish identity Rabbi Krustofski.

“There’ll be the southern hemisphere’s biggest dreidel spinning at Lansell Plaza, a massive menorah lit in the gardens – away from trees I assure you, and so much oily food at stalls that I challenge anyone to choke on anything.”

Traditionally the Bendigo Hanukkah Carnival has been held at the Rabbi’s house, due to the lack of local synagogue.

“The neighbours have been wonderful, often keeping me company when nobody else showed up, but this year will be different!”

Along with over-sizing things and encouraging potential heart attacks, the Rabbi is seeking engagement from irrelevant commercial entities.

“It’s what the Christians have done so well. Face painting Transformer logos! What on this great green earth has that got to do with Easter?”

Dates for the Carnival are set for the last week of December, and are sure to confuse Christmas shoppers.

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