I wonder if i should write again

There are many reasons not to write. The apparent pointlessness of it is high on the list. If I was writing a My Fake Girlfriend post this consideration would be a fictional converstion along the lines of:

‘But you like it,’ she said.

Dean looked to the beige wall he imagined Annabel to be standing in front of, ‘It’s not getting me anywhere.’

And the arguement would stilter… can an arguement stilter? That’s a question for Google to answer, right now the cons mount a heavy toll over the pros.

Cons: it takes time better spent looking for a better job, and time spent organising my shit (eg: washing, cooking, and other basic stuff that mounts up), and time building social outlets (eg: the girlfriend quest that inspired My Fake Girlfriend) and above all it doesn’t pay its way like the others have a prospect to. And really, the prospect for writing is not good.

To divert for a moment, consider that the most important thing in your life is to feel validated – to know that your actions are worth while. This would generally come from the social group you have, but also work. People who say things like, ‘Good job.’ so that you feel you’ve contributed something. That is what money can’t buy. For me, once a month (maybe) someone i know would say they liked something i wrote, and then every so often the web site here (this one here that i imagine someone is reading) will say that someone has read what i wrote. That’s not enough. Not enough valadation reward for the hour spent on an artilce (on average)… and that doesn’t include any of the books or heavier pieces i’ve also written that people have expressed vague interest in. So a ‘Con’ is that nobody seems to care despite the years of effort. Or perhaps to better say, not enough have cared over the years to justify the time, and there feels like no prospect for the validation to increase.

Pro: I like it. And i’m better at it than some successful meat heads.

It’s one of those things. Really. I understand the game. That you build a profile and maintain the effort to build it more. It’s the maintaining thing I must be bad at. I keep trying to build, but i see no traction in audience and so stop.A year of work once yeilded one consistant reader. I know my writing wasn’t bad. Teachers and lectures praised it. Normally people tell me whan they hate me.

Oh, this is all grizzle, grizzle i suppose.

No, this artile wont be promoted. I guess if i do want this as a future then i’ll just have to try again. To rebuild. This piece is just me trying to find my own motivation. Complete without spell checking or grammar reviewing. So if you do read this forgive me… and maybe leave a comment so that i know that you care. I honestly do care about you. That’s why i’m not powered by my own desire to write enough at the moment.

Kindly,

Luke.

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