What they should do… is create an Azarenka Early Warning Storm System

The Sunday Sports Age, 29/1/02
The Sunday Sports Age, 29/1/12

What they should do is create an Azarenka Early Warning Storm System (AEWSS), or a car alarm, or a clock radio. Imagine you’re bumbling about, looking at your feet in heavy wind, silently breaking into a car or sleeping peacefully on a rock, and you hear the screeching grunt of a really tough effort tennis shot, aka the Azarenka. It is a sound you cannot ignore. You’ll be up in flash, heading for the nearest door frame, sewer system or breakfast table, depending on your circumstance.

The Azarenka has already been used as a tennis court hailer – alerting to the ongoing of selected women’s tennis, and around train stations – to ward off loitering from today’s youth (though this has occasionally been mistaken for an extremely broken PA system).

This is a free idea that could net someone millions, and save lives. Do it!

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