Bullfighting is a sport involving a man dressed like Ziggy Stardust, known as a matador, and a large, docile, farming animal, known in Spain as a bull. The idea is that the man aggravates the bull, uses a cape to make it look foolish, and then stabs it to death.
Now, for some reason, this sport has been banned in the Catalonia region of Spain-probably because of inner Melbourne hipsters. While I’m not across all the legalities involved I did notice there was a sell-out crowd at the final event. The world needs success stories! We need to fix this loss.
One possible problem is that the playing conditions are a little uneven between the Ziggy Stardust and the bull. Hammer these out and we’ll have a sport again. Yay!
And so therefore I suggest the matador competes in the nude. It would be too cumbersome to dress a bull in sequins, so nude-up the matador and let them have-at each other. We might also have to remove the death part. Problem solved.