What they should do… to fix golf

Submitted to the Sunday Age Sport.

“A good walk ruined” is how Mark Twain described golf. This is accurate if you like walking. The quote could be “A boring walk ruined”, and that is the problem with golf. It tales something dull and makes it tedious.

Crash tackles, loud speakers and dancing girls are all suggestions to improve golf made in the movie Happy Gilmore. Yet, even with the huge success of this movie not one of these splendid ideas were implemented. Not even at a TAC Cup level. It would seem golf is a lost cause.

What is wrong golf, what is really wrong with golf, is this. The idea of the game is to slap a small ball towards a hole and then, once in nudging range, to nudge the ball into the hole. This normally takes place in a well-manicured park, usually near the remnants of a beach, and really is a pastime and not a sport.

Solution: reclassify golf as a novelty act and all is well.
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