What they should do… is report the sport.

Published in The Sunday Age Sports 13/3/11

What they should do… is just report the on the sport.Consider this. Shane Warne slides back onto his stool. He places his mobile phone on the bar and, watching it for signs of life, reaches for a cigarette.  

“I was just in the dunny.” Shane comments to Brendan Fevola as he lights the cigarette.

Brendan gulps down part of his beer before replying: “I’ve been in there too.”

“I had a poo and then I washed my hands.”

“I’ve done that.”  

Brendan’s phone tingles and beeps from the back of his jeans. Instinctively Shane Warne snatches his own phone from the bar and slaps it to his ear. “Shane Warne answering his phone.”

As Shane listens to silence Brendan puts his beer down and extracts his phone from his pocket. The text message received is from a girl and shows some footballers in compromising positions. “I’ve done that,he mutters.

Confused, Shane Warne places his phone back on the bar and looks over at the image on Brendan’s phone. “I’ve done that,he offers He says with renewed vigour.

Two children approach. One of them holds aloft a notepad and pen.

“Excuse me, Misters. Can we have your autographs?”

“Sure thing.” Shane Warne smiles sprouts with glee. “I can sign my name. Just you watch me.”

“Me to.” Follows Brendan Fevola and he waits his turn on the notepad.

The two sports stars concentrate on the task at hand while one of the children sneaks behind them to nick Shane Warne’s phone and have a toke on the cigarette.

“My dad thinks you’re the best!” smiles the other child as his friend surreptitiously sips on Brendan’s beer. “We read all of your articles.”

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